Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Jye turns 15 and what is normal?

Firstly, my first baby boy that I experienced pregnancy  labour, and the ups and down of first time motherhood with turned 15!  It blows me away to stand and see Jye and smile with a heart filled with joy.  He is one of my heroes.  His strength of character and conviction to be who he is, is inspiring and challenging to me at 40 (nearly 41, friends I have a birthday rool soon, hint, hint, nudge nudge).  We went out to lunch at a really nice place here called Biku, Jye's choice and he asked to have a cake with all the kids at the boys school.  Jye is the oldest of 15 kids and he is like a big brother to them all.  I am trying to savour and really take in the next few years as he will be a young adult, ready to leave my nest.  Oh, the thought is overwhelming, but I am preparing myself already.
Since leaving the Great South Land and having a complete upside down, inside out, mind altering change of how we do life, I have thought a great deal about 'what is normal?'  It's one of those words that if you say over and over and over some more, it sounds really weird.  Or, am I the only one that does that?  One definition for normal is that normal is the average or typical state of condition.   I had to set about setting up a new normal life for my family in our new home and new country.  You see, we had what I thought was a normal life or did we?  It was normal for us, it was what we knew and what we did.  It was normal for us to have a toilet that flushed, a sink in the bathroom to wash your hands and brush your teeth, to drink water out of the tap, to have constant running water, a shower at whatever temperature you wanted, to communicate easily and understood, to drink a good cup of coffee....these things were normal for us.  To then not have that which was normal for us and to realise that not having these things is also normal.  No constant running water, using a bucket to flush the toilet, drinking bottled water only, brushing your teeth in the kitchen, a cold shower or boiling hot, hearing a foreign language always and bad coffee (to me anyway) is normal for just over 3 million people here.  It is normal for the kids I do Community Playgroup with in a slum, to not know how old they are, to play in the dirt, to have a baby on their hip (when they themselves are barely a baby).  The way they live is normal, in shacks made from whatever, the toilet is a iron box on the edge of a creek and a shower is non existent, they bath in a bucket outside in the dirt.  This is normal for them, this is their life.  It is normal for me to walk by the Australian Consulate and go a few more minutes and enter this slum.  I have heard it often said, 'that's how they life, that's the way that country is'.  Yes, the things I have seen and see every day, is normal for those people.  But, here's the thing.  What is normal?  Is the way the west lives normal and the way the third World live normal?  I think most would say that the way the third World lives is not normal.  That extreme poverty is a horrible condition.  The reality is that a far greater proportion of the World are living normal, every day lives that is far removed from what the West call normal. It is estimated that 183,000 people live in poverty in Bali (meaning that they live on or less than $2 a day).  This is normal living for them, a shack and the constant struggle to feed, educate, clothe, provide medical treatment, transportation etc for their family.  These people can not even image so many of things that I have taken for granted for the majority of my life, things that were normal for me to have access to without much thought really.  Even in Australia people are living life's that have become normal every day life for them, that is a nightmare.  Women in domestic abusive relationships, have accepted that this is normal life for them.  But it isn't, it is not normal.  Alcoholic homes become a normal home for kids living in it.  Dysfunction, a week at mums, a weekend at dads, holidays with dad etc have become normal for so many kids.  I have come to realise that normal is what we create and what we allow.  What has become normal for far too many in our World is not normal and can not be allowed to be their normal.  Normal is what we perceive to be normal, based on what we know.  I feel fortunate to see what I see and know that what I thought was normal, a western way of living, is normal and that's ok and the way we live here now is normal too.  But, there are people living lives in the West and the Third World that are not normal and can not be allowed to be normal every day life for the people that have accepted it.  There will be people living in your neighbourhood and in the World living life's that can not allowed to continue as normal, will you do something today to change someone's normal to a 'better' normal that will bring them hope, a quality life and a future?

2 comments:

Ruby said...

Maybe question should not be what is normal but what is right....it may be normal for some people to go hungry or to live with abuse but it is not right. I hate it when people say 'that's normal for them" speaking about poverty...it may be normal for them but it is not right, saying it is normal is just a cop out for not doing anything about it.

Unknown said...

That is my point that what people know to be normal is not. And far from right, and it is all they know. And no, it is not right. We can all do one simple thing to change someones life and make it a 'right' normal. Thanks Ruby, love and miss our converstaions :)